Thursday, October 6, 2011

My World Turned Upside Down

Just a week after my last post in August, I received some devastating news...I have cancer.  For a brief time, my world was turned upside down as I shared the news with my family especially my four children.  I did start my year at school and worked for a month as I saw numerous doctors and discussed possible treatments.  I started chemo two weeks ago, and my doctor insisted that I not work during the 18 weeks of  treatment.  I was crushed at first when I heard that news because teaching has always felt like my lifeline in this world.  But as my white blood cells cancelled out to zero this week, I understood that being around children could make me seriously ill.  On Monday, I had a port surgically implanted in my chest, which will make it much easier to receive the chemo.  I've been trying to take good care of myself and eat wholesome food.  I even try to exercise a little bit each day.  I'm trying to stay positive...even this morning as I brushed my hair and watched it fall out.  I believe that every thing in life has a purpose and is a lesson.  One lesson that I have already learned as a result of my diagnosis is that I was way too concerned about things that in the big scheme just aren't important.  If I am blessed with the gift of more time, I plan to live my life more simply.  I plan to devote more time to my family and just simply appreciate the gift of life...something I fear I have taken for granted.  Teaching and creating lessons is still an interest of mine; just not an all-consuming goal.